One reflection I have is how many senior leaders are reflecting on their legacy not just in terms of how their work has impact in the organisations they serve, but the impact of the work and legacy that has on their family and friends. I have particularly noticed the concerns of those I coach with children or those with other caring responsibilities and I share some of these reflections below.
Some leaders become so embroiled in the day to day activities at work they find it hard to switch off – especially in an increasingly global, ‘always on’ world and find it hard to delegate, let go and trust. This has an impact not just on the development of future leaders but their family who sometimes resent the seeming over focus on work at the expense of time at home.
Increasingly the myth of ‘quality time’ is shattered as leaders recognise a snatched half hour at the end of the day or a short holiday is not the only type of quality. Quality is also quantity – hanging out doing nothing in particular, but with no distractions and quick peeks at emails, is often what others regard as quality time. Laughing at the small stuff that being human entails.
Understanding values can be a really helpful way to connect with what is really important to an individual and can help decision making in times of competing priorities.
This tension has for many years been more typically one faced by women returning after parental leave, and one that as a coach they have confided in me. This is changing – their partners are now noticing it and working on it. An additional change has been the recognition that it is older children also who need more attention particularly with the concerns about the potentially damaging effects of exposure to some types of social media. Being ‘present’ is being seen as increasingly important at different life stages now.
Many of us have forgotten what being truly ‘present’ means and the effect this can have on relationships – both at work and home. Other habits have taken over and given us quick dopamine hits that we have become addicted to.
Coaching can assist in identifying how to combine what is important to the individual, others and the organisation. Finding the time to be present and discover the intersecting sweet spot is a helpful way to create a personal vision for the legacy you want to both live and leave.
